Fee Increase Letter Covered In Gobblydegook

Read this story on Consumerist re: a Fee Increase Letter Covered In Gobblydegook :

"Pat writes:

"I received a letter today from our company's wireless provider that reminded me again of the fine art of 'customer management'...[it reads:]"

At Bell and Bell Wireless Alliance, we want to keep you informed of any upcoming changes that impact your wireless account(s). We appreciate your business and wish to provide the best customer service possible, and this includes making sure you are aware of any upcoming price changes. We're committed to giving you the information you need.

The letter then goes on to disclose yet another $2 per month fee increase, and to further advise that the Bell Wireless Alliance is pleased to answer any of my questions. I haven't asked them any yet, but I may pose the following:

1. Why do you refer to your fee increase in neutral, third-party terms? Why do you say "Pricing on certain features is increasing" instead of "We are increasing your fees"? Isn't this like saying "The fist will be making contact with you shortly" by way of informing someone that are about to punch them in the face?"

As a writer that does a lot of corporate communications, seeing these kinds of letters are frustrating - to say the least. But after seeing how many agencies train people to write, I'm not surprised to see this kind of letter everywhere. It's like someone has told them the goal of letter writing is to 1. blindly include key messages and 2. try and make people feel happy about fee increases.

This letter is typical in the way its written. The writers/editors of this missive somehow believe that Bell's customers will feel grateful that they've actually been informed of a fee increase. Thank you kind sir, might I have another?

It would be really nice to see organizations dial back the spin and be more forthright. I suspect customers will never cheer you on when you increase prices, but perhaps if you informed them without making it all about spin, they might have a litte more respect for you in return.

Technorati tags: corporate communications, PR, writing, Bell Wireless, Consumerist